"So, can we like, have sex now?" Yuffie inquired, having tired of angsting away her life.
"I don't see why not, " Tifa shrugged, and proceeded to push the younger girl to her ample bosom. Yuffie enthusiastically followed up by gently squeezing Tifa's buttocks. Ah, the bliss! Ah, the happy endings! Ah, the...
...lack of oxygen?
"Can't breathe!" wailed Yuffie. Or, she tried to. Seeing as she was firmly lodged between the barmaid's breasts, what came out was a very muffled "camnpf't... brrffthe..!".
"Suffocating!" she tried again, but still Tifa couldn't quite understand what Yuffie was trying to say.
Things could've ended very badly here since Tifa was too distracted by the happiness she felt by holding the young girl in her arms to notice that anything was amiss.
Luckily, at that moment Barret and Cloud happened to show up.
"WOW!" shouted Barret. "Yuri!"
Cloud simply stared.
Tifa was so surprised she immediately dropped her death-grip on Yuffie and instead flopped down on the ground. Yuffie fell on top of her in a very compromising position, which caused the males to start panting as heavily as the poor oxygen-deprived ninja.
"Are you.. gay?" Cloud asked after a while when his eyes had stopped bulging out and the blood had returned to his brain. "Isn't that.. kinda.. wrong?"
"Yeah, " said Barret. "Not complainin', but you shud let us men join in too."
"Like you should talk, " Tifa snorted. "Why, last night I saw you with Mukki!"
At this, both the men flushed. "Don't be judgmental!" cried Cloud, while at the same time Barret wailed "I was lonely!"
Yuffie looked at Barret. Then at Cloud. Then at Barret again. Barret and Cloud were also eying each other, deep betrayal and anguish sketched on their faces.
"He said he loved me, " started Barret.
"He said he loved me!" Cloud replied, a frown on his face. "He bought a new pair of bikini briefs just for the occasion," he continued triumphantly.
"What, the green ones? I picked them for him, " Barret sniggered .
"This is gross!" cried Yuffie, seeking comfort in Tifa's loving embrace (and also, in a very stealthy way, sneaking a hand down the older woman's panties. Not that Tifa complained.)
"SHUT UP!" both men snarled.
Cloud was crying now. "My heart is broken, " he sniffed. "I shall never love again!"
Barret was giving him the once-over. "Yeah, yeah, whutevah." There was a very calculating look in his eyes now, and then he shrugged as if coming to a decision. "Let's comfort each other. My place."
Cloud shrugged too. It seemed like the right thing to do. "Okay".
And so the two men skipped away merrily, holding hands and all.
"Well, " said Tifa breathlessly (after all, Yuffie was doing very naughty unmentionable things to her right now). "That was odd."
And then she wisely shut up so as not to distract Yuffie.