So Much Love To Give
Star Ocean II parody, by Wally

Another Mary Sue parody, with a bit of a twist. She's been watching three men from the group, using her influence all along to try to make sure that they'll want her when she's ready to come for them. But her plan seems doomed to backfire... OR DOES IT?

I have two endings for this horror. The first one was the one I intended from the start; the second was mostly inspired by an idea that Chalaine and I were discussing earlier, so she has to get most of the "credit."

Warnings: Yaoi references, bad Mary Sue, bad writing in general, massive OOC-ness, and abuse of the fourth wall. (And no, not mocking all (insert genre here) writers here, just the bad ones.)

Her name was Annamarie, but she let a select few call her Anna.

Her hair was long and lustrous and a deep, deep shade of magenta. Her eyes were pools of star-flecked midnight sky, able to mesmerize at a glance. She wore a long, lustrous gown of black velvet, cut modestly enough to make her appear ladylike, but daring enough to spark the libido of any men who happened to be passing by. She was, simply put, the most beautiful woman on all of Energy Nede.

She was not a Nedian, however; one only had to look at her ears to tell that. Nor was she an Expellian, a Fellpool or a Tetragene; she might've been a Human, but there was no way to tell. She defied all attempts to explain where she'd come from; she just was, because she wanted to be there.

Why? Well, if you'd asked her, she probably would've ignored you. But the truth was, she believed that she had a lot of love saved up inside of her - pure, sweet love, the kind of love that made her cry every time she thought of it. And she desperately wanted to share that love with someone. That was why she even existed in that world, despite all questions of logic and continuity - to give love.

And, she thought contentedly as she walked through the streets of Central City, that was just what she was going to do. Somewhere in the city there were three very lucky men that she had her eye on...


She finally found them in the tavern on the ground floor of the Brandywine Inn. To her great fortune, the three that she were looking for were sitting at the bar. It was, she had to admit, very convenient.

There they were - Claude Kenni, with his boyish face and blue eyes and tousled blonde hair; Ashton Anchors, with his constant woeful expression and those two adorable dragons on his back; and Dias Flac, with his dark, brooding good looks and long, gorgeous blue hair. Her heart skipped a beat. At last she'd found them... at last conditions were right. She'd finally get the chance to make her move!

They'd all love her, of course. She was the star of her story, after all; they'd have to love her. And then things would be beautiful - oh, sure, maybe they'd all be a little jealous of each other. At first, anyway. But she'd eventually convince them that it would be better to live in harmony; she did, after all, have enough love for every single one of them. She tittered at the thought of having all three of them at her beck and call. When she was tired of loving one of them, she could call another... or maybe, when she was feeling especially adventerous, all three of them at a time...

Oh, yes, she was definitely looking forward to it now. She'd been working up to this for a long time - watching the group from afar, as it were, and using her great influence to keep the irritating females far away from her pretties. She'd taken every single opportunity to have the bitches crush the boys' hearts, keeping the three of them emotionally isolated from their love interests. It hurt her so much to be cruel, but she thought it was the only sure way to know that when she appeared on the scene in person, they'd all be starving for affection and would accept her love immediately.

So she walked into the bar, preening. Everyone in the bar turned to stare at her - well, with the notable exception of the ones she wanted to stare at her, who were deep in conversation and probably just hadn't seen her yet.

"Ahem," she said softly as she walked up behind her, sure that that single word would make them turn immediately and stare in rapt amazement. It didn't. "Ahem," she said a little louder; nothing. Finally she sighed - they were a bit distracted, she supposed - and shouted at them. "Excuse me!"

The three finally turned to stare at her. "...yes?" Claude finally asked. "What is it?"

"My name," she breathed huskily, "is Annamarie. I've been dying to meet you." It didn't sound as good as it had in her head, but that didn't matter.

"Um, that's... nice, I guess," Ashton ventured, but shut up as he noticed the look Dias was giving him - not so much a harsh look as a warning look.

She sat down at the end of the bar. "So," she continued, "won't one of you boys buy me a drink? I'm awfully thirsty."

"Buy one yourself," Dias answered shortly. "We don't buy drinks for strangers."

She pouted. She'd expected Dias to be a bit gruff, actually. But she knew that deep down inside there was a kind, gentle man, and that somehow she'd find a way to melt his heart. "Strangers?" she repeated, still with that fetching pout on her face. "But why would you want me as a stranger? Wouldn't you rather get to know me? We could be very... very good friends, you know..."

The three men stared blankly at her. It was obvious that they were not far from asking what in the hell she was talking about...

Abruptly, Dias stood up. "I need to go to the store," he said, voice even more gruff than usual. "Later." And just like that, he walked out, not even giving Anna a second glance.


Anna watched him leave, frowning slightly.. but then, he'd be back. She was sure of it. "So, Claude," she pressed. "Wouldn't you like to go and get to konw me better? I have a room-"

"No!" Claude blurted! "I... look, I appreciate the offer, but I'm not interested, ok? Just... leave me alone!"

Claude was being difficult. That was odd; considering the emotional rollercoaster he'd been on with Rena and most of the other girls, he should've been eager for her guarantee of affection. Ah, well; she was in charge here, even if they didn't know it yet. He'd come around.

She turned back to Ashton. He was nicer, and really even more woebegone than Claude; surely he'd be more vulnerable. "And what about you, Ashton? I'm lonely... won't you come back to my room with me? The hotel I'm in is much nicer than this one, and we'll have a nice warm bed to share..." She winked.

"I... I..." Ashton swallowed hard. "I can't, OK? I've got other plans-"

Anna lost patience. "Then change them!" she started screaming, her perfect little facade cracking. None of it was working out right, they should've been wrapped around her finger as soon as they'd seen her... "You're mine, Ashton. Both of you - no, all THREE of you are mine! I've worked too damn hard at this to let it get messed up now!"

"Huh?" Claude asked, scratching his head. "But I've... who are you, anyway? I've never seen you before in my life!"

"So what?" She was babbling. She was way too upset to hold anything inside. "I know all about both of you! I know how Ashton ended up with those dragons, and I know how you got careless on Milocina and got teleported to Expel, and I know... I know all kinds of things that you don't even know! Wanna know what happened when Rena ran off with Dias at the Tournament in Lacour? Because I can tell you! I even saw you screaming at your father in the Field of Love, and - "

"How... you're lying!" Claude yelled. "How would you know that!?"

"I've been watching you, ok? I've been watching and I love you both and I want to prove it to you and...." Big wet tears streamed down her face. "Look, just come with me, ok? Give me a chance! I'll do anything... I'll bring your father back, Claude, and we can go back to Earth together and meet your mom! And Ashton... I'll find a way to save Gyoro and Ururun and keep them both alive! They can even live with us! I'll bring Dias's family back to life... I'll make Expel come back again, I'll make the Wise Men disappear forever... please, listen to me, don't let all my hard work just-"

But Claude was backing away. "C'mon, Ash," he hissed into Ashton's ear. "Let's get outta here! She must be some kind of psycho or something!"

Ashton nodded. "Um... look, miss... I'm really sorry but... well... bye!" he finished quickly as Claude pulled him away. They both ran up the stairs.

"But... why are you doing this to me?" she wailed up after them. She managed to run up one flight of stairs, but had to stop on the second floor; she was too drained by the realization that they didn't want her to run any further... "You're supposed to be falling desperately in love with me! Why are you running away?"

Then she heard Dias's gruff voice behind her. "You want to know why?"

Her heart lept. Dias had come back! She'd comfort him, love him, treat him better than anyone else had ever treated him, and he'd love her for the rest of his life. Never mind Claude and Ashton, she told herself. They didn't matter, they were too foolish to appreciate her. "I do, Dias," she whispered gently, trying to turn around to put her arms around him.

But he stopped her. "They're running away because they're too damn nice," he growled, sounding more like a mad dog than anything else.

She wanted to say that he caught her by surprise, that he never should've been able to do that without feeling such a powerful attack of lust that he would've fallen for her then and there. But the truth was that Dias managed to pick her up over his shoulder, carry her over to a window and drop her without any real qualms at all.

"Good riddance," he muttered, pressing a hand to his forehead. Not that he normally wanted to throw people out the window for bothering him, you understand, but there are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed. And besides, the girl had been surrounded by a miasma of perfume, pheremones and bad writing; it had given him one hell of a headache.

He reached into his cloak, pulled out a bottle of some of the herbal remedies that he'd picked up in North City, and swallowed a couple; couldn't have a headache just then. Not that night.

He smiled very slightly in anticipation.


A few minutes later, after his headache finally receeded, Dias walked back upstairs to the room he'd rented for the night. He walked in without knocking, and smiled very slightly at the sight of Claude and Ashton breaking a kiss. "Relax," he said, brusque as ever. "No need to stop because of me, is there?"

Claude smiled sheepishly. Ashton looked completely mortified, but hell, when didn't he?

"I can't believe we're actually going to do this," Ashton muttered. The dragons on his back were completely amused at that statement.

Claude glanced over at him, a bit worried. "You're sure you want to do this? I don't want to force you into anything, you know."

Ashton blushed - like a girl, Dias thought. The kid was way more naive than anyone his age had a right to be. "Of... of course I do! I just... well, if the others found out..."

"I don't care what they think." Dias interrupted as he pulled off his cloak, and started working on his tunic. "If you want to leave, go. I didn't think we were here to talk."

The three of them were... close in a way that probably would have scandalized a few of their friends, but they didn't care. The girls had all been so cruel to them, for some inexpliciable reason - especially Rena, who'd apparently been fluctating between liking Claude and despising him. It had been perfectly natural for the three to become very good friends.

Granted, the rest of it hadn't been so natural, but... well, who could say? It had just... happened.

Needless to say, Ashton didn't leave. In fact, his robe quickly joined Dias's tunic and Claude's uniform on the floor next to the bed.


Anna woke up in the alley next to the inn, shaking her head and groaning. It was a wonder that she hadn't broken her leg... or at least it would've been, if it wasn't for the fact that she was writing the story and she would never let that happen.

She thought about running back into the inn, but reconsidered. Maybe they had a room, and she could look in and see where they were.... Unconsciously adding levitation to her list of special abilities, she floated up and started looking into the windows.

On the first few floors, she had no luck; most of the girls in the group were chatting in one room, and she saw Noel and Chisato cuddling in another, but who cared about them, anyway? Then she floated up to the top floor, looked in -

- and almost fell back down to the ground in her shock at what she saw....

[Ending 1]

"No!" she screamed, banging on the window - it was lucky for her that the noise that the three objects of her affection were making was loud enough to drown her out. "You can't... he... you can't do that to each other! You're all men! I can't..."

She trailed off, unable to tear her eyes away. Her body started to grow warm underneath the dress. She'd never even considered what something like that might look like...

...and it was hot. Damn hot. She just couldn't help but stare. She stayed up there for a long time, watching until it was over,then drifted back down and wandered in a hormonal daze.

She couldn't stop the scene from replaying again and again in her mind. She... they... "Oh, man," she muttered to herself. "Oh, man."

Scenarios started running through her mind. The three of them on a large, canopied water bed... on a bearskin rug next to a huge crackling fireplace... in a marble hot tub... and why stop with them? She suddenly had a mind-blowing slide show of images with Ernest, and maybe Noel. Or Bowman. Or - even better - all three of them. Preferably with angst and chocolate syrup, maybe even at the same time, on a nice white sandy beach somewhere... yes, somewhere romantic like that. Definitely a beach. She really, really liked that idea.

Of course she'd have to find a good way to get that Ernest's slutty alien girlfriend and Bowman's doormat wife out of the picture, she thought with disdain. And that klutzy, hyperactive reporter girl, for that matter. Anna didn't want to take any chances....

"Excuse me," she said to no one in particular, her face an indecent shade of red. "I have to go home and do some... um, plotting. Yeah, plotting, that's it." And she vanished.

And from that day forward, Annamarie was transformed. No longer was she just another writer of horrible, out-of-character, pointless, disgustingly overpowered Mary Sues. She became just another writer of horrible, out-of-character, plotless, anatomically impossible yaoi.

It really wasn't an improvement.


[Ending 2]

At first she could only stare in shock. How could they? she thought, wide-eyed? I mean... I thought...

In a few more seconds, she might've started pounding on the window and begging them to stop... but then something else occured to her. Something that was very... naughty.

At first she tried to put the idea down - even backed away from the window and shook her head. No, she thought, it was insane. Ridiculous. She couldn't possibly be thinking straight.


She stared at the three beautiful men, and she had her answer. It would be fun, she told herself. Different. Original.

She fell to the ground in a flash and broke into a run, back into the hotel.


The three men were lying on the bed, covered in sweat, when the door burst open - bizarrely enough, since hadn't Dias locked it behind him? But it opened all the same, even if it didn't make any sense.

All three of them jumped, trying to hide themselves and (in Claude and Ashton's case) burrow under the covers. They had a million things to say in their minds, mostly things that would probably have ended up censored had they actually said them...

...but then they got a good luck at the stranger, and their retorts were forgotten. For a very long time, no one said anything.

Claude was the first to speak. "Wow," he said, still staring.

"Yeah," Ashton agreed. "Wow." Dias didn't comment; he just made a sort of strangled noise in the back of his throat.

"I... I mean... wow," Claude repeated. All attempts at modesty were forgotten, for all three of them. The strange man who'd walked in on them was simply the sexiest thing they'd ever seen, and that even included each other. "Who... who are you?"

The stranger smiled widely, showing a set of perfect, straight white teeth. He had dark, dark red hair that fell to his chin; it set off his perfectly chisled face and his deep, enchanting blue eyes. His dark clothes were dressy and perfectly tailored, yet somehow rugged at the same time; everything about him seemed to ooze sex appeal.

"My name," he began, in a voice as deep and smooth as a baritone horn, "is Anthony."

"Anthony..." Ashton repeated. "That's... a good name."

There was a long pause. Dias still didn't seem to be able to find his voice; Claude and Ashton were still too busy drooling.

"Um," Claude finally began, tentatively. "We were... but I mean... if you... ah..."

Annamarie - excuse me, Anthony - grinned even wider, if that was even possible. It looked like it wasn't going to be a lost cause after all!

"I'm all yours."