Lezard and the Bubblewrap
By Theaphelia


Dedicated to Melusine and Weird Al Yankovic.

DISCLAIMER: THIS FIC CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF A WHITE, NERDY SORCERER HAVING SEX WITH BUBBLEWRAP. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DAMAGE, PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY, TO THE READER'S SANITY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.


*Pop* *Pop*

Lezard Valeth sat in his tower in the company of his true love: a sheet of bubblewrap. Nobody had ever loved him or given him as much pleasure as the bubblewrap. It was with his inanimate, flimsy lover that he was to make love to tonight.

He ran his fingers over the smooth plastic of the popped bubbles. He sighed blissfully, fumbling at the buttons on his pants. He shut his eyes, using one hand to rub his crotch and the other to press the bubblewrap against his cheek.

Oh, the sweet, sweet scent of the plastic! He knew of no better aroma. He squeezed one of the bubbles, releasing the plasticy air contained within.

*Pop!*

Panting, he managed to get his pants open. He pulled his cock out, rubbing it gently. He reclined on the old, threadbare couch and pulled the long sheet of bubblewrap over himself.

"My beautiful, you would never deny me," he whispered into one of the bubbles. He rubbed the sheet against himself. No vagina he had felt had this much texture, or provided as much pleasure, as his beloved bubblewrap. "I can touch you anywhere and you never call me a pervert. To you, I am not a twerp. To you, I am everything. You are perfect to me, and I am perfect to you."

He licked one of the bubbles, then bit it.

*Pop!*

The sound made his cock twitch. He couldn't take it anymore. Rolling on top of the bubblewrap, he began to thrust excitedly into the plastic. He grabbed a fistful of the bubblewrap and squeezed it. A series of loud pops erupted from his fist. He nearly came, but he held back. He had to make this beautiful moment last longer than two minutes. It was a moment he wanted the bubblewrap to remember, as well.

He hugged the bubblewrap to himself, pushing it against his cock and thrusting harder. He wrapped the plastic around his cock and squeezed again.

*Pop! PoppoppopPOP!*

The feeling of the bubbles popping around his penis was too much. He came, humping the plastic and moaning in ecstasy. The bubblewrap did not complain, as Mystina often had, nor require coersion as Lorenta had, nor did it resist him as Lenneth had. The knowledge of the plastic sheet's complete loyalty and absolute love was exciting beyond even the feeling of the bubbles against his body.

He ran his tongue over a couple of bubbles, overcome with joy. Once he was fully spent, he collapsed on top of the bubblewrap, popping a few more bubbles, and went to sleep.

TEH END.

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